The Secret Behind Elite Athletes: It's Not Mental Toughness

Ever wonder why some elite athletes thrive under pressure while others crumble? The secret might not be what you think. It's not about being mentally tough, but something sports psychologists call "psychological flexibility."

Sport performance psychologist and mental game expert, Alex Auerbach, shares insights into how psychological flexibility transforms athletic performance, drawing from extensive work with NBA players, including the Toronto Raptors. This science-backed approach, supported by research, offers a fresh perspective on achieving peak performance under pressure.

In this post, you'll discover:

• How psychological flexibility differs from traditional mental toughness
• A proven three-skill framework for developing adaptable performance states
• Case studies of professional athletes transforming their game
• A systematic implementation guide for coaches and practitioners

We'll explore how an NBA player's transformation demonstrates that being open, aware, and engaged creates sustainable excellence in sports. This approach aligns with modern performance psychology, challenging old-school "push through it" mentalities while delivering measurable results.

The insights shared here aren't just theoretical - they're battle-tested in professional sports. These evidence-based strategies will revolutionize your approach to mental training and peak performance, whether you're a coach, athlete, or performance professional. Let's dive into this game-changing approach to athletic excellence.

I Trained NBA Stars to Be Mentally Flexible, Not Tough

In my work with professional athletes, particularly during my time with the Toronto Raptors, one principle proved especially powerful: psychological flexibility.

Psychological flexibility offers a framework for helping athletes navigate the complex demands of elite performance.

Psychological flexibility has strong scientific support across multiple domains. Research shows it is a key predictor of mental health, well-being, and performance outcomes. Studies demonstrate that higher psychological flexibility is associated with lower anxiety and depression, better stress management, improved relationships, and enhanced work performance (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010; Bond et al. 2006; Levin et al. 2014, Gardner * Moore, 2012).

The empirical evidence comes from both clinical psychology, where psychological flexibility is a core mechanism of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), as well as performance psychology research showing that athletes and executives who can flexibly adapt their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors perform better under pressure.

Meta-analyses confirm that interventions targeting psychological flexibility lead to meaningful improvements in both mental health and performance metrics. This scientific foundation is why psychological flexibility has become increasingly central to evidence-based approaches for optimizing human potential.

The Reality of Elite Performance

Elite athletes face a unique paradox.

They need to maintain unwavering confidence while adapting to new challenges (novelty challenges our self-efficacy). They need to trust their training while being willing to adjust mid-game. They must balance aggression with composure, and individual excellence with team cohesion.

This is where psychological flexibility becomes critical. It's not about being mentally tough in a rigid way, but about having the capacity to shift between different psychological states as the situation demands.

These competing demands create immense psychological pressure that can derail even the most talented athletes. Without psychological flexibility, players often get stuck in rigid response patterns that undermine their performance. The following case study illustrates how developing psychological flexibility can help athletes navigate these challenges more effectively.

A Case Study in Flexibility

I worked with an NBA player (we'll call him Marcus) who was struggling with consistency. His talent was undeniable - he could take over games when everything aligned.

But when faced with adversity - a tough defensive matchup, early foul trouble, or poor shooting - he would often spiral into ineffective play. He’d persist with what wasn’t working to overcome his blocks. It was the quintessential example of “forcing it.”

The traditional approach might have been to build his mental toughness or teach him to "push through." You’d hear the same tropes from coaches, too: “Just keep going,” “play your game,” “stick with the fundamentals.” Though well-intentioned, this message suggests just continuing on the same path will solve the problem.

We chose to instead work on 3 skills to give him a more dynamic approach to the game

Being Open

We started by helping Marcus become more aware of his thoughts and emotions without trying to change them. Rather than fighting against pre-game anxiety or frustration after missed shots, we worked on accepting these experiences as normal parts of performance.

We used simple skills, like a release-reset-refocus routine, focal cues, and mindfulness to help him overcome these obstacles. Instead of getting stuck on what wasn’t working or what had gone wrong, he was able to re-establish himself firmly in the present.

Being Aware 

We developed his ability to notice his internal state while staying connected to the game environment. This meant practicing mindfulness not just in quiet rooms, but in increasingly game-like situations. The goal was to help him maintain environmental awareness even when internally activated.

We know that attuning to the environment facilitates flow. We also know that one of the main causes of choking for professional athletes is distraction, particularly in the form of distracting thoughts. Developing Marcus’s awareness allowed him to let go of distractions and lock in to the relevant stimuli in the performance.

Being Engaged

We identified his core values as a player and person, then worked on keeping those values at the forefront during challenging moments. This gave him an anchor point for decision-making under pressure.

When players are grounded in their values, it helps them more effectively stick with their process. They don’t give in to external pressures or play outside themselves. With Marcus, his values allowed him to recenter in how he approached practice and the games, easing some of the self-inflicted extra pressure he was experiencing.

The Results

Over several months, Marcus developed a new relationship with his performance state. Rather than needing everything to feel "right" to play well, he learned to perform effectively across a broader range of internal experiences. His consistency improved and more importantly, he started to enjoy the game again.

We also got to enjoy a special moment together that solidified the progress he made. He had a stretch during the game where he made several shots in a row, effectively taking over and changing the dynamic of the competition. On one run down the floor, he looked at me, winked, and gave me the gesture we’d rehearsed for the physical part of a release/reset/refocus routine we’d developed. Marcus went on to lead the team in scoring that night, and returned to his form as a leading scorer for the team for the rest of the season.

Practical Application Framework

For practitioners looking to implement this approach, here's a systematic framework I've developed:

Assessment Phase:

• Evaluate current psychological flexibility using both observation and dialogue
• Identify specific situations where rigidity appears
• Map out the athlete's existing coping strategies
• Understand their values and performance goals

Implementation Phase:

1. Awareness Building (2-3 weeks)

• Daily mindfulness practice (5-10 minutes)
• Post-practice reflection on internal experiences
• Simple logging of thoughts/emotions during performance

2. Acceptance Training (3-4 weeks)

• Introduce defusion techniques
• Practice allowing difficult emotions during progressively more challenging situations
• Work on staying present rather than avoiding discomfort

3. Values Clarification (2-3 weeks)

• Define core athletic values
• Connect daily actions to larger purpose
• Create value-based responses to challenges

4. Behavioral Flexibility (Ongoing)

• Practice switching between different performance states
• Develop broader repertoire of responses to pressure
• Build capacity to perform under varying conditions

Integration Phase:

• Gradually implement skills in practice settings
• Create game-specific applications
• Develop maintenance strategies

Key Considerations for Implementation

1. Start Small
Begin with manageable situations where the athlete can practice flexibility without overwhelming consequences. This builds confidence in the approach before applying it to high-stakes moments.

2. Measure Progress
Track both subjective experiences and objective performance metrics. This helps demonstrate the value of psychological flexibility and guides adjustments to the intervention.

3. Customize the Approach
While the framework remains consistent, the specific techniques and pace should be tailored to each athlete's needs and personality. Some respond better to metaphors, others to direct instruction.

4. Maintain Connection to Performance
Always tie psychological flexibility work back to performance enhancement. This ensures buy-in and practical application.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

1. Moving Too Fast
Psychological flexibility is a fundamental shift in how athletes relate to their experiences. Rushing the process often leads to superficial understanding and limited application.

2. Oversimplifying
While the concepts should be accessible, avoid reducing psychological flexibility to just "going with the flow" or "being adaptable." The depth of the approach is what makes it powerful.

3. Neglecting Integration
Skills developed in controlled settings must be systematically integrated into performance contexts. Create specific plans for this transfer.

Looking Ahead

Psychological flexibility offers a framework that meets the complex demands of sport performance. It goes beyond traditional mental skills training to develop athletes who can truly thrive in dynamic, challenging environments.

For practitioners, this approach requires its own form of flexibility - being willing to move beyond standardized interventions to truly meet athletes where they are. The reward is seeing athletes develop not just better performance, but a more sustainable and fulfilling relationship with their sport.

When athletes learn to be open to their experiences, aware of their environment, and engaged in value-directed action, they develop a form of mental strength that's both powerful and sustainable.

As you implement this framework with your own athletes, remember we're building athletes who can perform effectively across a broader range of experiences and situations. That's what true psychological strength looks like in modern sport.

The journey to greatness isn't about being mentally tough in a rigid way - it's about developing the flexibility to adapt while staying true to core values and performance objectives. That's the kind of athlete who can truly answer the call to greatness

This Edition is a Cross-Posting with The Mind Room

Dr. Alex Auerbach is a sport psychologist, mental performance coach, and co-founder of Mettle, a program that brings peak performance practices to youth athletes. Formerly the Director of Player Wellness and Development for the Toronto Raptors, Alex works with elite athletes across major sports leagues and the Olympics, specializing in high performance, leadership, and mindset training. Alex lives in Tucson, Arizona and consults with athletes and teams throughout the world.

About Raising Champions

The insights shared here come from both high-level sports and our work with thousands of developing athletes. We've seen this approach work across all competitive levels - from Olympic hopefuls to high school athletes taking their first steps into competitive sports.

Join us as we explore this revolutionary approach to athletic excellence. And if you're ready to give your athlete these same proven tools, the Raising Champions community is here to support their journey with:

• Daily mental performance coaching through Mettle AI
• Access to expert-led workshops and special events
• A supportive community of like-minded athletes and parents